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One of the hardest things to do when you're an author in my opinion is finding the balance between your writing, editing and publishing and your day job and just everything else that life throws at you. It's something that I've been working on for years and this last year I've been failing pretty miserably in most cases. I do quite a bit of freelance work on top of my day job and so my writing has taken a back seat to everything else in my life. Throw in a lot of overtime with my job at the hospital and you can guess how frustrating that can be at times.

Initially I thought if I set a schedule for myself with this blog that I'd be able to keep it, but as usually happens, my day job, my home life and my freelance work got in the way. While I was able to keep it for a few weeks, continuing became difficult when the time just wasn't there. And there's another thing, this thing called time and how we use it. Why is it that we always think we don't have enough time. The truth is I think at least for me is that I don't manage my time well. In fact, I'm lousy at it, and I'll be the first to admit it. So that's one part of me finding balance as an author that I've been working on.

The main thing with time is that I'm finding I have to work on training myself to focus on what I'm doing this moment. For example, in this moment I'm writing this article. So, the trick is whenever my mind wanders to what I'm going to make for dinner tonight, what I have to get at the store, the statements I need to print out so I can pay my school loan payment, and when I'm going to do my taxes that I work on gently bringing my mind back to the task at hand which is writing this article. We get so caught up in what's coming up or what has happened ie we got a bad review for example that we don't focus on the present. My Native American ancestors were actually really good at focusing on the present tasks and I think it's an important part of finding balance to adopt this habit. It's not easy by any means, but it does work when you continue to employ it. I also find I get much more done when I focus on the task at hand. We've become such a society of multi-taskers that it's not any wonder that we feel so frantic all the time. We rarely give our brains a break to just think about one thing at a time.

Since I've begun doing this paying attention to what I'm doing in the moment I mean, I've actually begun writing again. Wonder of wonders, with just this little tip to help me find some balance in my author life, I've begun writing again. Imagine that!

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I often get the question about why I write. Honestly? I write because I have to. It almost sounds like I'm doing something I don't like when I put it that way, doesn't it? But that's not the case at all. The fact is I have always written in one form or another. Granted before age five I couldn't really write but even then I told stories, or drew pictures that told stories. Just because I didn't know how to write words didn't mean I didn't write. I've always written. Words are compelling for me.

Another reason I write is because I have a very vivid imagination. I have always had a movie running in my head. I can easily see scenes from my books and even feel what my characters are feeling. Being able to write down the movie in my head makes it possible for me to share my vivid imagination with others.

I love to tell stories. There is just something so rewarding about telling a story and keeping people on the edge of their seat to find out what is going to happen next that is quite simply addicting. One of my favorite things about writing is figuring out how myself and my characters are going to both fool and engage the reader. I say fool because when you're writing fiction you can't make it too easy. Personally I am not a fan of books where I can figure out who the bad guy is or who the heroine is going to marry or whatever the case may be in the first couple of chapters. I've been known to put those books down and never pick them up again, so I work hard to make sure there are enough surprises to keep my readers interested.

Photo Credit: Stock Xchng

And I write to educate. As someone of Native American heritage, there is so much information out there about Native Americans that is incorrect that I use my fiction to educate, as well as, to entertain. Stereotypes abound when it comes to Native Americans, all you have to do is watch a movie from the 1950's with Indians in it and you'll see what I mean. The whole idea of Indians being savage, or stoic, or wearing full feather head dresses (not all tribes had these, this is mainly the plains tribes only) and it's not hard to see how easy it is to be misinformed. So, several of my stories have Native Americans and other Indigenous Peoples as main characters, and rather than using stereotypes to explain their actions and their lives, I use my own knowledge of my people to tell their stories. What I don't know I carefully research and whenever possible talk to members of the tribe that my characters come from so I am certain that what I write is accurate.

And finally it's fun! Writing stories and even non-fiction like this article for example is fun for me and relaxing. Weird I suppose for those non-writers out there, but ultimately writing for me is the same as say someone who enjoys skiing wanting to hit the slopes every weekend during the winter.

Surprised Woman AI Created from Pixabay.

I write erotic romance, and quite frankly I don't make any bones about the fact. I'm not ashamed of it. I don't necessarily advertise it at work, but if someone asks me, I have no problem telling them what I write.

Now that being said, I occasionally run into people, co-workers, beta-readers, and others who have accused me of just writing "porn" or "smut." Sometimes trying to explain that there is a difference between writing erotic romance which has a plot, and dialogue, as well as, relationships, and porn which usually has none of the above is difficult.

I had a difficult experience not long ago where I had sent one of my beta-readers a copy of A Gift From Home, which was my first F/F romance, so I was already nervous about how it would be received. I don't believe this person read more than a chapter or two before they wrote me saying they couldn't finish it because it was porn and just nothing but sex. Since there are only four sex scenes in an almost 100 page story, you can imagine my surprise at having it labeled, "porn." To say I was upset, and even a bit angry would be the truth. I now have a clause in my beta-reader's contract saying they must read the entire book before giving any feedback. There is also a clause saying that the reader accepts that there will be different kinds of books including ones with m/m, f/f and menage scenes, or scenarios. This is so potential beta-readers know what they are getting themselves into and so I don't have this happen again.

Have you ever been accused of writing porn? What did you do? I ended up simply responding kindly to the beta-reader but deciding that I needed to re-write my beta-reader contract. Honestly, I'm reluctant to send this person any other books, because quite frankly it stung having something I worked so hard on described this way.

I'd love to hear from other authors about how they've handled it when someone called what they write pornography.